Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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