stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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