I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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