I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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