I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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