Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
