in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
