Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
