you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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