you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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