I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
