Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
