your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
