Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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