I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
