I just gift wrapped bread.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
