oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
