i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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