I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
