So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
