think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
