i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you win again, gameday.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
