Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
