you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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