i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the day after is always just damage control
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
