Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
