We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
