May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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