I am puke
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
