There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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