Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
