Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
