new low.... made out with someone while peeing
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
