he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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