Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
