Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
