I think my vagina is haunted
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
