Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Enjoy the penises
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
