forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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