I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
