Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
