No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
