Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
