i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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