There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
