Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
