HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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