hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
