fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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