Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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