the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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